I didn’t watch or read too much of the coverage of Michael Jackson’s death. It was pretty unavoidable though and among all the eulogies I found it curious that I didn’t see anybody compare him to Elvis, except when talking about record sales.

Make no mistake, Isaac Hayes was Black Moses and Michael Jackson was Black Elvis. He was an immense talent who gained huge success at a young age. He then succumbed to the temptations of fame, becoming a drug-addled freakshow and dying prematurely of a massive heart attack. The main difference between Michael Jackson and Elvis is that when MJ died he took the internet down with him.

Señor Coconut & His Orchestra “Beat It” (Michael Jackson)
This meringue arrangement makes you want to dance, even if you can’t moonwalk.

Joe Dolce “Thriller” (Michael Jackson)
I had never thought of “Thriller” as a blues tune, but it works. I also love the demented medley it devolves into. More great stuff from Andrew Denton’s Musical Challenge.

Me First & The Gimme Gimmes “Ben” (Michael Jackson)
Just ignore everything that’s been written about Michael Jackson’s plastic surgery obsession, his strange relationships with chimpanzees and young boys, and his decision to let people use Beatles songs in commercials. The only thing you need to remember is that his first hit as a solo artist was a heartfelt love song to a rat. That tells you all you need to know about the man.

The Bates “Billie Jean” (Michael Jackson)
These guys were a German punk band who had a Top 10 hit with this song in Switzerland. One more example of the universal appeal of a well-crafted pop song.

Paul Anka “The Way You Make Me Feel” (Michael Jackson)
This song is such pure pop that it doesn’t sound that much different as a glossy Vegas schlockfest. Richard Cheese is famous for doing covers like this with his tongue firmly in his cheek. Mr. Anka was deadly serious when he released this song on his Rock Swings album in an attempt at a Johnny Cash-style career revival. The strategy was not successful.

I understand that lots of people like the Beatles. I understand that many of the musicians that I like and admire are Beatles fans. But for me they’re an overrated icon of a previous generation, shoved down my throat by the baby boomers who control so much of popular culture. My feelings about the Beatles are tied up with my feelings about Classic Rock radio, which I’ve discussed in detail recently.

But I realize that the Beatles are an important part of many people’s lives and so this week I pay tribute to their music. In my own way.

Bugotak “Kon’ Togethy (Come Together)” (The Beatles)
Tuvan throat singing makes any song better.

Little Junior Parker “Taxman” (The Beatles)
While this song is witty, I’ve always found it to be an annoying example of rich people whining about the problems of being rich. This smooth, sophisticated blues version sounds more like a workingman’s lament.

Diego Pelaez “Drive My Car” (The Beatles)
Needless to say, there are many covers of Beatles songs done in many different musical styles. This is a really nice salsa tune with a wonderful horn section. They make it hard to believe that this song was ever not a salsa. If you want a Latin Beatles cover that doesn’t work quite so well, just keep reading.

Big Daddy “Fixing A Hole” (The Beatles)
The official story of Big Daddy is that they were captured by Laotian revolutionaries in 1959 and held captive for twenty-four years. Upon their release in 1983 their cultural isolation caused them to play the popular songs of the day in the style of the 50s. Thus this rockin’ Beatles song that sounds suspiciously like “The Wanderer.”

The G9 Group “Lady Madonna” (The Beatles)
Where to start? These folks are from Brazil, so English is not their native language. They also chose a song that just doesn’t translate very naturally into a samba. The singer (who can’t sing all that well) really strains to make the lyrics match the rhythm they’ve forced upon the song. All in all, it’s pretty charming in its graceless execution.

Anthony Newley “Within You Without You” (The Beatles)
You have to admire this song for its style, its execution, and its scope. It is not only the worst Beatles cover ever, it’s a strong contender for worst cover ever and worst song ever recorded. The vocals inhabit some godforsaken realm between mewling and warbling. The syrupy strings add nothing to the song and are so loud that they fight with the sitar and tablas.

This recording comes from a television special entitled Beatles Forever that aired on ABC in 1977. It was hosted by Tony Randall, who provides the sonorous introduction. The show also featured the vocal stylings of Mel Tillis and Paul Williams. Somehow they also roped Ray Charles into this hot mess.

As Johnny Cougar so memorably told us, if you don’t stand for something you’ll fall for anything. Everybody needs something to believe in, something to give your life purpose and meaning, something to cling to in times of trouble. Don’t know what to believe? Let me help you out.

The Beat Farmers “Reason To Believe” (Bruce Springsteen)
At the end of every hard-earned day people find some reason to believe in something, whether they choose to believe that a runaway lover will return or that a dead dog will get up and run.

I still miss Country Dick Montana and the Beat Farmers. They were one of the most fun live bands I’ve ever had the pleasure of seeing. The closest thing to them today is the Waco Brothers. They used to rock this song harder than Broooooce could ever dream of doing.

Hearts Of Palm UK “Would You Believe” (Billy Nicholls)
Billy Nicholls and his album Would You Believe are probably more well-known in England than America. Over there it’s heralded as the British Pet Sounds. There are indeed similarities in tone and style, although I don’t know any American who would put Billy Nicholls on a par with Brian Wilson.

This cover sounds nothing like the original, which is a beautiful song that is definitely of its time. This is all synthesizers and clattering percussion. There’s more interesting stuff by these people at their MySpace Page.

Sally Timms “Reason To Believe” (Tim Harden)
It’s a simple song but it nicely captures a situation that we’ve all been in. Your lover blindsides you with deceit and still you try to find a reason to believe him/her. You do it because you’re committed to the relationship and you’re not about to abandon all the work you’ve put into it. Or you do it for the children. Or you do it because you’re not prepared to face the world alone. But in the end you’re delaying the inevitable. And deep down inside you know it.

This is a nice live recording of Miss Timms. She’s a wonderful singer but she can be a bit mercurial on stage. I’m a little surprised that she didn’t stop this song to verbally abuse the people who were talking when she was singing. I’ve seen her do it more than once. I’ve also seen her hand out marmite to the audience. That unpredictability is one of the best things about going to one of her too-infrequent shows.

Smash Mouth “I’m A Believer” (The Monkees)
Here’s a song about love and belief that has a happy ending. And what else would you expect from a Monkees tune?

Smash Mouth is my guilty pleasure. One night I was channel surfing and came across an hour-long show that had a 30 minute set from Sugar Ray and a 30 minute set from Smash Mouth. I stopped surfing to watch Sugar Ray because I wanted to see what all the fuss was about. They were pretty terrible. I didn’t have much hope for Smash Mouth and I enjoyed them immensely.

The Cast of “Glee” “Don’t Stop Believin'” (Journey)
There are people who view Journey as a guilty pleasure. I am not among them. But this number from the cast of Glee is fun. Special thanks to Uncle Flakey for sending it my way.

In my professional life I work as a computer consultant. Recently I’ve been working on a network configuration that’s known as the “golden triangle.” That’s where you have a Macintosh server and a Windows server that talk to each other and collectively provide services to client computers on the network. Apple claims that it’s easy to set up, but it can be tricky and it takes a bit of finesse to pull it off. After successfully implementing this setup for my client I thought that I should pay tribute to the Golden Triangle this week on Cover Freak.

The Bobs “Particle Man” (They Might Be Giants)
Triangle Man sounds like a real dick. He hates Particle Man, he hates Person Man, he’s always getting in fights. Universe Man really should put him in his place.

Vibrating Egg “Bermuda” (Roky Erickson)
There are some artists whose music is an obvious indication of mental health problems. Wesley Willis is a good example. Roky Erickson is another. This song starts out as a very nice tune about kicking it in Bermuda and then for no apparent reason he starts ranting about the Devil’s Triangle. The first person who heard this song should have given poor Roky some lithium.

This song is from the very excellent tribute album Where The Pyramid Meets The Eye, which is how I got introduced to Roky’s music.

Nouvelle Vague “Bizarre Love Triangle” (New Order)
I’m not a big fan of New Order but just about every cover of this song that I’ve ever heard I’ve liked. This one features some incredible harmonies. I’m not sure if there are two different women singing or if it’s done with overdubs but it’s very nice either way.

The Dropkick Murphys “The Auld Triangle” (comp. Brendan Behan)
This one’s a little more obscure than most of the stuff that I post here. The song was written by legendary Irish poet and playwright Brendan Behan as an introduction to his play The Quare Fellow and it has since become something of a modern Irish anthem. The triangle in the title refers to a large metal triangle that was beaten every morning with a hammer by prison guards to wake up the prisoners.

Counting Crows “Carmelita” (Warren Zevon)
The term “Golden Triangle” is also used to refer to the area of Southeast Asia where the majority of the world’s opium is traditionally produced. These days I think most of it comes from Afghanistan, but that’s neither here nor there. It’s a good excuse to post a cover of the greatest song ever written about being strung out on heroin.

This cover is really well done. The subject matter and lyrics suit Adam Duritz’s mopey delivery quite well. By coincidence my niece and her boyfriend were recently in Echo Park on vacation. I don’t think they were hanging out by the Pioneer Chicken Stand scoring heroin but I’ll confirm that when I see them in a few weeks.