I don’t know if they still do this in school but back in the day they’d show us movies designed to sicken and terrify us as an example of what not to do. There were of course the shots of dead bodies being dragged out of wrecked cars that they showed in driver’s ed. My favorite was the classic Dead Is Dead which illustrated the horrors of drugs by showing us a guy who died of an overdose and whose buddies then tied his body between two old mattresses and dumped it in a vacant lot. That one also included extensive footage of a guy going cold turkey from heroin.

It is in that same spirit of public service that Cover Freak this week presents cautionary tales for musicians that illustrate the dangers of poor decision-making.

Tiny Tim and Eleanor Barooshian “I Got You Babe” (Sonny And Cher)
This comes to us from the 1968 film You Are What You Eat, a 1967 documentary produced by Peter Yarrow of Peter, Paul & Mary. The music is performed by The Band. Tiny Tim sings the female part and Ms. Barooshian sings the male part. It’s a sonic train wreck that you just can’t turn away from.

Anthony Newley “Pop Goes The Weasel” (Traditional)
There are plenty of songs that benefit from a jazzy ultra-lounge treatment. This is not one of them.

The Ray Bloch Singers “Everyday People” (Sly And The Family Stone)
A plea for interracial understanding and harmony sung by the most white bread band you’ll ever hear. Apparently the concept of irony was foreign to Ray Bloch.

Mrs. Miller “Green Tambourine” (Lemon Pipers)
I just don’t think that this song suits her voice. Or singing style. But then again, what song possibly could?

Duran Duran “Watching The Detectives” (Elvis Costello)
These pretty boys manage to drain all of the passion and cynicism from an Elvis Costello song. You’d think that wouldn’t leave very much. You’d be right.