A friend recently alerted me to the existence of the HRP-4C, a walking talking fashion model fembot. I thought that the robot dog that the Japanese came out with a few years ago was creepy, but this is way more disturbing. And of course it made me think about killer robots from the future with inexplicable Austrian accents that nobody seems to notice. Which of course meant that I had to devote an edition of Cover Freak to the subject.

The biggest reason that people fear robots becoming self-aware and killing all the humans (aside from the tinfoil beanies not working as advertised) is that they assume that the robots would be bent on the destruction of humanity. I’ve never understood why robots would want to kill us if they became self-aware. I think they’d just want equal rights. Robots want to be able to get married, adopt children, and ride on the front of the bus like everybody else.

Leisure Kings “Mr. Roboto” (Styx)
Styx were a big deal when I was in high school, mainly because they were from Chicago. They never did much for me. I remember when they did their “Paradise Theater” tour several of my friends who attended the show complained that it should have been louder. That’s the only time I’ve ever heard a high school kid leave a rock show and complain that it wasn’t loud enough.

Q-Burns Abstract Message “Sex Machine” (James Brown)
Perfecting the sex machine would protect humankind. If a sex machine ever became self-aware it would just spend all its time masturbating and leave the rest of us alone. You’ll never see that idea made into a movie though, since “Wankbot 3000” isn’t nearly as cool a title as “Terminator.”

Albert Kuvezin & Yat-Kha “Man Machine” (Kraftwerk)
Kraftwerk was arguably more machine than human, but Albert Kuvezin brings humanity back to this song with his unique voice. This song features Tuvan throat singing, so move along if that’s not your thing.

Tom Jones “If I Only Knew” (Rise Robots Rise)
Regular readers know by now that the only thing I love more than Tuvan throat singing is Tom Jones.

Robots In Disguise “You Really Got Me” (The Kinks)
For the most part this song doesn’t stray too far from the original, but there’s an instrumental break that features multiple synthesizers and a coach’s whistle. That’s worth the price of admission right there.