I understand that lots of people like the Beatles. I understand that many of the musicians that I like and admire are Beatles fans. But for me they’re an overrated icon of a previous generation, shoved down my throat by the baby boomers who control so much of popular culture. My feelings about the Beatles are tied up with my feelings about Classic Rock radio, which I’ve discussed in detail recently.

But I realize that the Beatles are an important part of many people’s lives and so this week I pay tribute to their music. In my own way.

Bugotak “Kon’ Togethy (Come Together)” (The Beatles)
Tuvan throat singing makes any song better.

Little Junior Parker “Taxman” (The Beatles)
While this song is witty, I’ve always found it to be an annoying example of rich people whining about the problems of being rich. This smooth, sophisticated blues version sounds more like a workingman’s lament.

Diego Pelaez “Drive My Car” (The Beatles)
Needless to say, there are many covers of Beatles songs done in many different musical styles. This is a really nice salsa tune with a wonderful horn section. They make it hard to believe that this song was ever not a salsa. If you want a Latin Beatles cover that doesn’t work quite so well, just keep reading.

Big Daddy “Fixing A Hole” (The Beatles)
The official story of Big Daddy is that they were captured by Laotian revolutionaries in 1959 and held captive for twenty-four years. Upon their release in 1983 their cultural isolation caused them to play the popular songs of the day in the style of the 50s. Thus this rockin’ Beatles song that sounds suspiciously like “The Wanderer.”

The G9 Group “Lady Madonna” (The Beatles)
Where to start? These folks are from Brazil, so English is not their native language. They also chose a song that just doesn’t translate very naturally into a samba. The singer (who can’t sing all that well) really strains to make the lyrics match the rhythm they’ve forced upon the song. All in all, it’s pretty charming in its graceless execution.

Anthony Newley “Within You Without You” (The Beatles)
You have to admire this song for its style, its execution, and its scope. It is not only the worst Beatles cover ever, it’s a strong contender for worst cover ever and worst song ever recorded. The vocals inhabit some godforsaken realm between mewling and warbling. The syrupy strings add nothing to the song and are so loud that they fight with the sitar and tablas.

This recording comes from a television special entitled Beatles Forever that aired on ABC in 1977. It was hosted by Tony Randall, who provides the sonorous introduction. The show also featured the vocal stylings of Mel Tillis and Paul Williams. Somehow they also roped Ray Charles into this hot mess.