Last year I did a Year In Review post and it went pretty well, so this year I’m taking a look back at the decade just passed. So many things happen over the course of ten years but these are the things that grabbed my attention for one reason or another.

Man Or Astro-man? “Interplanet Janet” (from Schoolhouse Rock)
In August 2006 Pluto was demoted to “dwarf planet” status. How does a planet get demoted? Pluto seriously needs to get a new agent. As I reach middle age it seems that science is conspiring to piss all over my childhood. First they start renaming the dinosaurs and now Pluto’s not a planet. It’s enough to give a guy a complex.

Pat Boone “Paradise City” (Guns N’ Roses)
Chinese Democracy was finally released in November 2008. It was at first widely anticipated, then became a joke as the years and promised release dates slid by. When it finally came out nobody really gave a damn any more, which was a good thing because the album was a piece of crap.

The original lyrics of “Paradise City” were “Take me down to Paradise City where the girls are fat and they got big titties.” I would so love to hear Pat Boone sing that.

John Connors “The Patty Duke Show Theme” (from The Patty Duke Show)
Digital broadcast TV came to the U.S. in 2009 after a few false starts. Thanks to the wonders of digital signal compression TV stations now can broadcast four channels using the bandwidth that they had been using to broadcast one analog channel. For the most part they haven’t figured out what to do with the extra channels, I’m seeing a lot of 24-hour weather broadcasts. But Chicago’s WCIU-TV has it figured out. They’ve devoted one channel to reruns of classic TV shows ranging from Have Gun, Will Travel to The Twilight Zone to Starsky And Hutch. They haven’t broken out Patty Duke yet, but I figure it’s inevitable. Another channel shows obscure movies, including some horrible monster movies from the 60s and 70s. They’re so old school that when Octaman ran short they filled the time with an old Pink Panther cartoon. Now that’s a good use of the public airwaves.

Diesel “Paranoid” (Black Sabbath)
I saw Ozzy play live when it mattered. He had just released his first solo album and had something to prove. Randy Rhodes was playing guitar and Motorhead was the opening act, touring to support the Ace of Spades album. The Aragon Ballroom was packed and some sweaty drunk passed out and fell on me. All in all it was one of those life-defining occasions. And then in 2002 Ozzy staggered onto my TV screen looking drug-addled and pathetic. It was hard for me to reconcile the doddering stooge on my TV with the fierce performer I saw that night so long ago.

Brian Grosz “Gimme Some Money” (Spinal Tap)
The Euro entered circulation in the European Union on January 1, 2002. It had been used in accounting since 1995 but now people could spend Euro coins and currency. It’s interesting how the EU dealt with nationalism on the part of its member states when it came to currency design. The coins all have the same design on the “heads” side and each country is allowed to design its own “tails” side. The paper money has nice generic bridges on all the bills.

This song comes to us from the very excellent Spinal Tap tribute CD put out by the very excellent Brian Ibbott over at Coverville.

Erasure “Too Darn Hot” (comp. Cole Porter)
Global warming has become pretty undeniable over the last decade. The people who used to argue that it wasn’t happening have now by and large moved on to arguing that it’s not being caused by people and even if it is it would be too expensive to fix the problem. In the meantime the ice caps are melting and polar bears have turned to cannibalism because they can’t get out on the ice to hunt for seals any more. It is indeed too darn hot.