It’s Valentine’s Day, not one of my favorite holidays. I know that some people think it’s the most romantic day of the year. A friend of mine told me she liked the holiday because it was a day when everybody was nice to each other. Which is a noble thought at the very least. Personally I view it as a holiday made up by Hallmark to sell greeting cards.

Frank Rogala “He Hit Me (And It Felt Like A Kiss)” (The Crystals)
In what has become a Cover Freak tradition, I’m once again posting a cover of the most romantic song ever written. Carole King intended it to be a protest against spousal abuse, written from the woman’s point of view. It was a noble sentiment but she seriously botched the execution. The singer sounds like she’s glorying in her helplessness and low self-esteem. Thank goodness she’s got a strong caring man to slap her around when she gets out of line, otherwise who knows what she’d do?

Pearl Harbour “Filipino Baby” (Ernest Tubb)
This is a great song that’s both romantic and racially insensitive. You couldn’t write a song like this nowadays, that’s for sure. It just gives me goosebumps to hear this sailor proclaim his love for his “dark-faced Filipino.” Pearl Harbour started out as a background dancer with the Tubes and then got involved with the San Francisco New Wave scene that also gave us Romeo Void and Wire Train.

Arthur Brown “I Put A Spell On You” (Screamin’ Jay Hawkins)
One of the greatest obsessive stalker songs ever written. It’s hard to get scarier than Screamin’ Jay but Arthur Brown gives it his best shot. You just can’t express eternal love better than “I don’t care if you don’t want me, I’m yours.” Restraining order? What restraining order?

Fiona Silver “Run For Your Life” (The Beatles)
Not everybody appreciates how deeply you have to love somebody to threaten to kill them if they cheat on you. It’s easily the most mean-spirited and graceless Beatles song ever, but everything sounds breezy when it’s played on a ukulele.

The Bad Livers “I Know You’re Married But I Love You Still” (Porter Wagoner and Dolly Parton)
Woody Allen famously reminded us that “the heart wants what it wants,” even if that’s your jailbait adopted daughter. Or another man’s wife. This song expresses the same sentiment as “Ring Of Fire” but without the subtlety and metaphor. Which makes it a great song for the Bad Livers since they’re not real big on subtlety either.