As I drive to my new job each morning I pass a beauty supply store that sells wigs. They have a large sign over their door that says simply “HUMAN HAIR.” It could be that they sell wigs made from human hair, or they could just be selling hair by the bag for your home crafting and hair-shirt weaving needs. The sign is a little unclear.

It made me think of the George Carlin bit where he talks about how nobody wants your bodily fluids. They’ll take your blood if it’s an emergency, but nobody wants your sweat or earwax. And when I start thinking about stuff like that you know that those thoughts inevitably end up in a Cover Freak post.

The Jennifers “Good Morning Starshine” (from the musical Hair)
I’ve read that American hair is no good for wig making because we use too much shampoo. That apparently strips the hair of its natural waxy coating and makes it too brittle to sew into a wig. You want to source your raw material from places where standards of personal hygiene are more relaxed. So I’m not sure what the deal is with the whole Locks of Love thing. Do they encourage you to stop washing your hair while you grow it out?

A.J. Marshall “You’ve Made Me So Very Happy” (Blood Sweat and Tears)
This is from a pretty bizarre album that came out in the late Sixties. It’s covers of what were then contemporary songs, sung by a guy doing an Al Jolson impersonation. I don’t know if it was intended to be ironic or if Al Jolson was the only impersonation this guy could do so he just went for it. The album is kind of hard to listen to all the way through but it’s pretty funny in small bursts.

Fishbone “Freddy’s Dead” (Curtis Mayfield)
There was an article in Wired a month or two ago about the international trade in body parts. Seems there’s a thriving black market in bones, largely because they have a relatively long shelf life. A mortuary in Philadelphia got busted for harvesting bones without permission from the stiffs they were working on. Needless to say, the bones in question were not removed according to organ donation standards for cleanliness.

Rosanne Cash “I Count The Tears” (The Drifters)
This twangy version of the Drifters hit comes from a wonderful tribute to songwriter Doc Pomus that came out in the mid-90s. People don’t want to see you cry and they don’t want your tears unless you’re a unicorn. Unicorn tears are magical and are very popular.

Richard Cheese “Sunday Bloody Sunday” (U2)
That wacky Ricardo Queso, turning U2’s self-righteous anthem about Ireland’s “troubles” into a hot latin number. That’s why he’s a national treasure.