There is a variant of the game of softball which is more or less unique to Chicago. We play the game with a ball that’s 16 inches in diameter and don’t use gloves. The rest of the world uses a smaller ball (12-inch? 14-inch? I’m not sure) and the fielders use gloves. When I went to school in Missouri and my dorm put together a softball team I got very confused when I saw them wearing gloves during a practice session. I had never seen such a thing and had no idea that anybody played softball with a glove. I mean, the ball is soft so why would you need a glove? Broken fingers are just a part of the game.

This all came rushing back to me during a conversation with my friend Cletus. He had been playing in a throwback “base ball” league that played by the rules of the turn of the 20th century. That means no gloves, among other things. He tired of the experience and told me that he was looking forward to playing softball with a glove. I of course informed him that real men play softball without gloves.

My brain being what it is, my thoughts then turned to music by, for, and about manly men. And of course I had to share those songs with all of you.

Muzzarelas “Macho Man” (The Village People)
With all the loud guitars and shouted lyrics, this is much more macho than the original.

Capri “I’m A Man” (Spencer Davis Group)
I really like this supercharged version of the Spencer Davis classic. The horn section is great. Steve Winwood was around sixteen years old when he wrote it, which is probably why he thought being a man meant having whiskers on your chin and a chrome-trimmed toilet. I’m sure that these days he has a more expansive definition of manliness.

Lou Pride “It’s a Man’s World” (James Brown)
The original is one of the greatest slow jams ever recorded, and as a result most of the people covering it don’t stray too far from the original. Thankfully Lou Pride brings the funk while reminding us that it wouldn’t mean nothing without a woman or a girl.

The Dead Brothers “Ramblin’ Man” (Hank Williams)
There are some things that men do that are fundamental to their nature. One of those things is rambling. And if your woman doesn’t understand that, well that’s just too bad.

The Dead Brothers do a wonderful job on this one. I’m always up for a song that features a banjo and a tuba.

Elton John “Neanderthal Man” (Hotlegs)
This is from very early in Elton John’s career. He was probably still calling himself Reg Dwight and was working as a studio musician recording covers of hit songs for cheapo albums that cashed in on the popularity of other people’s work.

“Neanderthal Man” was recorded by Hotlegs (who later became 10cc) to test drum sounds on some new recording equipment. Then somebody realized that it was just stupid enough to be a hit and it got released on an unsuspecting public.