Tomorrow is Memorial Day, when we pay tribute to those who have given their lives in service to their country. The thing about war is that anybody who has ever been in one never wants to be in another and doesn’t want his children to experience it either. The best way to pay tribute to fallen soldiers is to work to end war.

So this week Cover Freak presents songs to remind you of why war should be avoided if at all possible.

Ian Whitcomb “I Didn’t Raise My Boy To Be A Soldier” (The Peerless Quartet)
This song was written during World War I. That war was such a horrific meat grinder that there was quite a bit of opposition to it in the U.S, probably more so than any U.S. war until the Vietnam War.

I like how this song advocates for nations to arbitrate their differences. And I wholeheartedly agree that there would be no war today if mothers all would say “I didn’t raise my boy to be a soldier.”

Sparklehorse “Galveston” (Glen Campbell)
When this song came out people thought that Jimmy Webb wrote it to protest the Vietnam War. In fact he wrote it about a soldier in the Spanish-American War. He did a good job of capturing the emotional uncertainty of war, as a soldier prepares for battle and thinks of his hometown and the girl waiting there for him.

DOA “Eve Of Destruction” (Barry McGuire)
The specific threats have changed, but the overall threat of global conflagration is still there. Maybe it always has been that way and always will be. But at least now they let you vote when you’re old enough to enlist.

Joan Osborne “War” (Edwin Starr)
The original is one of the most pissed-off songs ever written. Joan Osborne’s version is much sadder, and I think it has a much stronger emotional impact because of it.

Maura O’Connell “Shipbuilding” (Robert Wyatt)
The horrible contradictions of war are spelled out in this one. It was written during England’s Falklands War, when England’s depressed shipbuilding towns became prosperous building ships to replace the ones being blown up in Argentina. But at the same time those towns were sending their children off to die on those very ships they were building.

People are most familiar with Elvis Costello’s version of this song. He cowrote the song but his recording came out a year after Robert Wyatt’s. This a capella version is just incredible.

Boy, Mister Death has been busy lately whacking legendary musicians. Last week it was Donna Summer taking a dirt nap.

I’ve never been much into disco. I grew up a rocker and was part of the whole anti-disco movement when I was young. Disco Demolition Night is one of my fondest memories from that time. But I certainly appreciate the influence disco had musically and culturally and I also appreciate Ms. Summer’s position as one of the giants of the musical form. And so we bid her farewell.

Miss Fish “Love To Love You Baby” (Donna Summer)
When people talk of the coarsening of the American culture they rarely mention this song. Which is odd because it is still one of the most blatantly sexual songs I’ve ever heard.

This version keeps the original rhythms but includes some pretty twisted vocal stylings that at times sound like a cheesy “adult” audio loop from the Fifties.

London Gay Men’s Chorus “Last Dance” (Donna Summer)
I’ve never really gone out looking for covers of disco songs before and I didn’t realize how challenging it would be. It seems like disco music is very popular with the karaoke, workout, and stripper markets, all of whom want something that sounds just like the original without the need to pay all those messy licensing fees to use the music.

This is a refreshing exception, all the more fitting since Ms. Summer was such a gay icon. The choral arrangement works with the throbbing disco beat and the call-and-response between the chorus and the oversinging diva is pretty funny.

Hitboutique “She Works Hard For The Money” (Donna Summer)
Now here’s somebody doing something imaginative with a Donna Summer song. It’s a strange song for a languorous samba, since it sounds like she’s done working and is just going to chill on the beach with a cold drink.

Orquestra D’Soul “Bad Girls” (Donna Summer)
I knew a guy in college who was obsessed with the fact that Donna Summer recored a concept album about prostitution. I must admit that it’s one of the more unique concept albums out there.

I really like the salsa arrangement on this one.

Donna Summer “MacArthur Park” (Richard Harris)
This being Cover Freak I had to include the cover that Ms. Summer had a number 1 hit with. It starts out sounding every bit as ponderous as Richard Harris’ version, but then they whip out the disco rhythm section. Lyrically speaking it’s still one of the dumbest songs ever written though.

Easter Sunday was a tough day around Casa de Freak. The day began with Freakette discovering that there is no Easter Bunny and they day ended with our dog dying very suddenly.

Perry was a wonderful dog and a loving, committed member of our family. I miss him every day and I’m getting choked up writing this, but a great guy like that deserves his due on Cover Freak.

Randy California “Walking The Dog” (Rufus Thomas)
Walking the dog was a daily duty for the seven years Perry was with us. It wasn’t so much fun when it was raining or below zero, but it was part of his routine. Dogs are creatures of habit, after all. So it was part of my routine as well. I still get the feeling that I’m forgetting to do something when I don’t walk him after dinner.

White Man Kamikaze “Hound Dog” (Carl Perkins)
Perry wasn’t a hound dog, he was a Wheaten terrier. He was much higher maintenance than a hound dog would have been for several reasons. He didn’t shed, which meant that he had to be taken to the groomer for expensive haircuts. He was bred at a puppy farm and was seriously inbred. He came to us through a rescue program because he was too high-strung for his original owners to cope with. But with patience and love we found the gentle soul behind his cross-wired brain.

The Gourds “Gin And Juice” (Snoop Dogg)
Perry became ill in the late afternoon just as we were going over to our neighbor’s house for Easter dinner. I was worried about him and went back to our house to check on him a couple of times. By the time I realized how sick he was it was too late. Perry died in the car on the way to the emergency vet two hours after he started acting ill. I never got Easter dinner, I had no appetite. I’m not a big fan of gin, but I did need a stiff drink after it was all said and done.

Wilson Pickett “Mama Told Me Not To Come” (Randy Newman/Three Dog Night)
Perry was always up for a party. He loved people and a party was an excuse for him to go from person to person getting his head scratched all night long. He didn’t care how strange the party got or whether anybody told him not to come. If there was a party, he was there.

This song was of course written by Randy Newman but by far the most popular version was recorded by Three Dog Night, which is why it’s included here.

The Supernaturals “You’re My Best Friend” (Queen)
A dog is a loyal and devoted friend. It doesn’t matter what the rest of the world thinks about you, or what kind of day you’ve had. When you come home your dog is always so happy to see you it’s like you’ve risen from the dead. It’s so weird to come home and not have Perry jumping on me. It makes me a little sad every day.

Masturbation has been much on my mind lately. No wait, that didn’t come out right. I’ve been thinking about masturbation a lot lately. No, that’s not what I meant either. Oh hell, there’s just no way to gracefully introduce this subject.

I bought Freakette the entire Monty Python DVD set. One of the many hilarious skits on those disks was the Summarize Proust Competition. The most notable thing about that sketch is that the BBC censored it. One of the game show contestants was asked what his hobbies were and he responded with “strangling animals, golf, and masturbating.” That last word was deleted from the broadcast, although you can see Graham Chapman’s lips move.

That bit of history is mentioned in the DVD extras. The DVD set also included a TV special in which the Pythons were interviewed and there was a long discussion about the controversy and the universal nature of masturbation. I of course was watching this with Freakette and thought that I’d have to have The Discussion with her about self-pleasure, but she just let it slide. Much to my relief.

But then when the Nouvelle Vague cover below popped up on my iPod, this week’s theme was sealed.

Nouvelle Vague “Dancing With Myself” (Billy Idol)
I’ve always thought that this song wouldn’t have been so popular if more people realized what it was about. But then again, it was pretty obvious what Billy’s “love vibration” was. I love pretty much anything Nouvelle Vague do, but this swinging tune is one of my favorites.

Foo Fighters “Darling Nikki” (Prince)
Ah, the song that so horrified Tipper Gore that she decided that she needed the government’s help to save her kids from Prince. Seems almost quaint given the lyrical content of rap music, doesn’t it? The Foo Fighters showcase some very crunchy guitars on this one.

Scala Choir “I Touch Myself” (The Divinyls)
There’s an admirable lack of subtlety here. It’s as if the Divinyls decided to write a song about masturbation and it never occurred to them to use metaphors. The choral treatment is just fantastic.

One Fine Day “She Bop” (Cyndi Lauper)
It’s really a pity that “danger zone” never caught on as a metaphor for the female genitalia. It would have made “Highway To The Danger Zone” a much more interesting song. One Fine Day turns the New Wave classic into a driving rock song with great success.

Marina Celeste “Orgasm Addict” (The Buzzcocks)
The original was all twitchy and in your face, which is why I find this languid bossa nova version so amusing.