Cover Freak

It’s a new year. And with the new year comes the latest internet-enabled apocalyptic hysteria. This time around the world’s going to end because the Mayan calendar runs out in December. While the Mayans had an advanced civilization and were astronomers of great renown, I just don’t know why anybody thinks they had any inside info on when the world is going to end. I mean, if they were so smart wouldn’t they have kicked the Spaniards’ asses?

Anyway, in case this really is our last collective trip around the Sun, here’s some appropriate music to get it all started.

Link Wray “Begin The Beguine” (comp. Cole Porter)
If it really is the end let’s begin with this twangy romantic instrumental from the immortal Link Wray.

I was fortunate enough to see Mr. Wray perform a couple of weeks before he died. His son brought out his guitar and hung it around his neck. And then he was off, playing like he was twenty years old. His wife was playing percussion and they spent the whole show flirting with each other. It was quite a memorable evening.

New Found Glory “Never Ending Story” (Limahl and Beth Anderson)
There are alternative explanations about why the Mayan calendar ends in 2012. My favorite is that the end of the calendar only represents the end of a cycle, not the end of the world. In other words, this year will be the end of one chapter and the start of another in the Never Ending Story of our little blue planet.

I hadn’t listened to the original version of this song for quite some time before I started putting together this post. I had forgotten what a piece of crap it is. New Found Glory does a real great job with some terrible source material on this one.

OV7 “Calendario de Amor (Calendar Girl)” (Neil Sedaka)
And here we have a tribute to the Mayan calendar itself, or at least one of the virgins sacrificed on the dates it specified. This is such a cheesy song I thought that at least Me First and the Gimme Gimmes would have done a cover of it. They’ve covered every other song that’s ever been recorded after all. But everything out there sounded like Neil Sedaka, which to me is the very definition of pointless.

But just as I was beginning to despair I found this electronic Spanish dance version. I feel much better now.

Turisas “Those Were The Days” (Mary Hopkins)
If it really does start raining frogs or whatever the Mayans said happens when the world ends, people will no doubt become nostalgic. They’ll start looking back on their lives and hopefully liking what they see.

I dearly love this Cossack death-metal version of this song. It sounds like they’re looking back longingly on the days when they rode across the steppes trampling their enemies under their horses’ hooves.

Saint Eve “It’s The End Of The World As We Know It” (R.E.M.)
But this is a fun song, particularly this arrangement. Even if the world isn’t really ending. It’s slow enough that you can understand the lyrics but it still has a bouncy synthesized beat.

Last week I went to the best bar in the world (The Hideout in Chicago, if you’re interested) to see the fabulous Flat Five perform. They’re a band of local musical luminaries and friends who only perform once a year at the Hideout. The Flat Five includes two incredible singers in Kelly Hogan and Nora O’Connor and Scott Ligon (of NRBQ) on guitar and keyboards.

It was a truly wonderful show and my favorite part came when they performed three songs from Harry Nilsson’s The Point! If you’re not familiar with The Point, it’s a cartoon about the adventures of Oblio and his dog Arrow in the Land of Point. The song “Me And My Arrow” was a minor hit and came from the soundtrack to that program.

I have a special love of The Point! My grade school purchased a 16mm print of it and herded the whole school down into the basement once a year (usually when they were using the gym as a polling place) and showed us the film. I guess they bought the film because of its message that we’re all the same despite our superficial differences and that we should all live together in harmony. I just loved the music and the animation.

At any rate I’ve had songs from The Point! running through my head all week so I’ve got to do something about it.

In 2009 an album came out called Songs From The Point! which featured wonderful covers of the songs from the soundtrack. In a way it’s a little disappointing since I’d dearly love to put together a cover tribute to The Point! since I had so much fun doing the Zappa tribute. Maybe I can still do that if enough artists are willing to contribute. In the meantime enjoy these songs from the 2009 tribute album.

Devotchka “Everything’s Got ‘Em” (Harry Nilsson)
One of the cool things about the soundtrack of The Point is that there’s a melodic theme that ties all the songs together. The folks in Devotchka keep a faint echo of that melody but then start layering on exotic instruments to give the song a feel somewhere between a Turkish bazaar and a Bollywood musical.

Sex Mob and Catherine Russell “Poli High” (Harry Nilsson)
Here we have the story of Oblio and his dog Arrow playing Triangle Toss (the national game of the Land of Point) against the son of the Evil Count. The Flat Five absolutely rocked on this song. They had me jumping up and down and making a fool of myself. You probably don’t want to be next to me when a band plays a song I love. This is a pretty danceable version right here.

Andrew Bird “Think About Your Troubles” (Harry Nilsson)
In true Andrew Bird fashion this song starts off very slow and quiet and then builds up a decent head of steam. I always liked this song because of the way it tells us that the ocean is salty because of all the tears that have have washed into it.

Dawn Landes “Lifeline” (Harry Nilsson)
Ms. Hogan and Ms. O’Connor broke out some heartbreakingly beautiful harmonies on this one at the Flat Five show. The pedal steel guitar is so very sad on this version it makes me want to weep.

Nathaniel Rateliff and The Wheel “Are You Sleeping” (Harry Nilsson)
This is my very favorite song from The Point! You really didn’t want to be next to me when they played this one. This version is a little low-key for my taste. To my ear it seems to emphasize the sadness and nostalgia of the song at the expense of the love, hope and commitment.

I grew up in the far northwest corner of Chicago, a couple of blocks from the city limits. Just across the border was (and still is) a suburb called Niles. It’s a weird little village with no downtown. The closest thing they’ve got is a gargantuan shopping mall. Beyond that it’s ranch houses and the occasional strip mall. They’re also famous for having the same mayor for forty-odd years. He finally lost his job when it came to light that he’d been shaking down local businesses for decades.

When I was growing up there was another outdoor shopping center in Niles called Lawrencewood. It was always kind of a low-rent place, the anchor store was a Goldblatt’s for cryin’ out loud. When Goldblatt’s went out of business things really started going down hill. The other businesses moved or went belly-up themselves and the shopping center owners stopped doing any kind of repairs or maintenance on the place. It was like that TV show where they show you what cities would look like if humans suddenly ceased to exist. I think the owners were either using Lawrencewood as a tax dodge or for money laundering.

Eventually the only business left was a biker bar with a 4 a.m. liquor license. Large, rowdy people would get hammered and then wander out of the bar to urinate in the fresh air and smash the occasional plate glass window on one of the storefronts. The shopping center had speakers in the public areas and for some reason they didn’t fall apart with everything else. So every holiday season they would pipe Christmas music out 24/7. I used to like going there in the wee small hours of the morning, especially when it was snowing, to wander around the wreckage and listen to the bikers argue drunkenly while Bing Crosby and Andy Williams crooned about chestnuts roasting on an open fire.

As you might guess, that experience has forever warped my relationship with Christmas music. I’ve tried to post songs this week that are as normal as possible, but there’s only so much I’m capable of doing.

The Blues Magoos “Santa Claus Is Coming To Town” (Eddie Cantor)
This bit of garage rock fun comes from an EP that I think was done for the Blues Magoos’ fan club. Given what I imagine the size of the Blues Magoos Fan Club to be, this is probably a pretty rare song.

Paul Di’Anno “White Christmas” (Bing Crosby)
I’ve got this CD called Metal Christmas, and it’s exactly what you’d expect. There’s one twist though. Everybody on the record used to be kinda famous. Like Paul Di’Anno here. He used to be the singer for Iron Maiden before some ego-driven snit fit caused him to quit the band. They replaced him and became a huge international sensation. And Paul Di’Anno? Well, he did record a song for the Metal Christmas album.

John Dissed “Christmas With The Devil” (Spinal Tap)
Speaking of heavy metal, here’s the definitive metal Christmas song performed as a contemplative acoustic tune. This is from the sublime Spinal Tap tribute album put together by Brian Ibbott over at Coverville.

Weezer “We Wish You A Merry Christmas” (Traditional)
They want their figgy pudding, dammit!

Charles Angle “Let It Snow” (Vaughn Monroe)
It may shock you to learn that I have friends who collect unusual music. One of the greatest weirdo music hounds I know is my friend John. He likes to scour resale shops for records that were only sold by the performers in the restaurants and cocktail lounges at which they played.

And one of John’s most amazing finds is this track from an album of Wurlitzer organ lounge music by the incomparable Charles Angle. He gets the words wrong, loses his place, and has sickening pauses where you wonder if he’s going to get back on track or just say the hell with it and quit. Something about it brings me back to those magic nights in the decaying shopping center.

Merry Christmas everybody!

In any business you constantly need to find new customers. Your current customers will inevitably grow old and drop dead. Or perhaps their taste will change and they’ll favor some other product, and they need to be replaced if your business is to survive and grow. The same is true of popular singers, and they’re more susceptible than most to the fickle nature of public taste and trends.

There are a few ways for a more mature singer to make himself relevant to a more youthful audience. You can go the Frank Sinatra route and record duets of your biggest hits with popular young musicians. You could just completely change your musical style and start playing whatever’s trendy at the time. The most frequently used approach is to record the hits of the day in your own style. Sometimes it works and sometimes, well, you be the judge.

Paul Anka “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (Nirvana)
The original is one of those songs that changed everything. It led to the strip-mining of the Seattle music scene and clueless record execs unleashing a horde of awful bands in flannel shirts upon the land.

The mark of a great song is that it stands up to reinterpretation in pretty much any musical style. I’ve got 20 covers of “Smells Like Teen Spirit,” arranged as everything from a techno rave-up to a tango. Then there’s this. Mr. Anka has no feel for this song at all, to him it’s just another schmaltzy Vegas lounge number. Who thought that young people (or old people for that matter) would want to hear this?

Pat Boone “You Got Another Thing Comin’” (Judas Priest)
Maybe I just have more affection for Mr. Boone, but this schmaltzy Vegas lounge number is more convincing. I get the feeling that he actually read the lyrics. And I love the sax solo. This is from his album In A Metal Mood, which featured him covering (mostly) metal songs.

Muddy Waters “Let’s Spend The Night Together” (Rolling Stones)
Muddy Waters was much beloved by the psychedelic guitar gods of the 60s. So some record exec decided that he could sell Muddy’s records to the kids buying all those records by Cream and Jimi Hendrix. But he didn’t think that those kids would want to hear electrified Chicago blues. So this record exec got a bunch of anonymous studio musicians to wank away at some “psychedelic” blues while Muddy sang his hits. And a Stones tune for some reason. Listening to the record I get the impression that the musicians never met Muddy, let alone performed with him.

The album Electric Mud might have justifiably been forgotten if not for its bizarre popularity as a source of samples in the hip-hop world.

Ethel Merman “Alexander’s Ragtime Band” (comp. Irving Berlin)
The Ethel Merman Disco Album. There can be only one. I admire that title for its simplicity and truth in advertising. I hope that poor Ethel got paid well for this hot mess. She really puts her back into it, belting out the lyrics over a throbbing disco beat. This one is particularly bizarre for its attempt to keep a Dixieland flavor to the song.

The Art Of Noise Featuring Tom Jones “Kiss” (Prince)
But sometimes it works. This was released as an Art Of Noise record, but it marks the point in time where the incomparable Tom Jones became relevant to a generation of young hipsters. He attacks the song and makes it completely his own. Whenever I listen to the original version it sounds hopelessly lame and dated.

I heard John Doe play last week. The fact that he’s still alive and performing puts him far ahead of many of his contemporaries from the 80s Los Angeles punk scene. Over the years he’s shown himself to be a wonderful songwriter and soulful singer with a deep love of American music. It was a great show and it made me want to hear more of his music. So here it is.

X “Breathless” (Jerry Lee Lewis)
Mr. Doe’s first band showed more affection for rock and roll’s origins than most punk bands. They really do take your breath away with this mile-a-minute rave-up. The harmonies between Mr. Doe and Exene Cervenka were a trademark of X. When I saw him perform he didn’t have Exene with him but he did have a chick singer who sounded an awful lot like her. The harmonies on the old X songs were perfect.

Giant Sand “Johnny Hit And Run Paulene” (X)
This is from a wonderful album of covers Giant Sand did called Cover Magazine. On it Howe Gelb takes on songs from everybody from X to Frank Sinatra, and makes them all his own. This version sounds even more desperate than the original.

The Knitters “Rock Island Line” (Johnny Cash)
In 1982 X got together with Dave Alvin of the Blasters and put out a country record as the Knitters. It was mostly covers with a couple of original songs. It was a pretty radical thing for that band to do at that time, and it rocked a lot of people’s worlds. Folks who never would have considered listening to country music figured it must be cool if X was playing it.

Johnny, ain’t you got no rhythm pigs?

Robbie Fulks “The Call Of The Wreckin’ Ball” (The Knitters)
The folks at Bloodshot Records considered that Knitters album to be so earth-shaking that they put together a tribute album featuring a different artist covering each song on the album. Famous smartass Robbie Fulks tackles this Knitters original about a sleazeball who enjoys stomping on chickens. And he sounds like he’s having just a little too much fun singing it.

John Doe & The Sadies “Take These Chains From My Heart” (Hank Williams)
The Sadies are a Canadian band that has a wonderful way with American roots music. They seem to back up just about everybody these days who records a roots record. Here they deliver a swinging version of Hank’s heartbroken plea.