The delightful Mrs. Freak has been out of town this weekend. She was also out of town last weekend. Between trips she suggested I put together a post about spending time on the road. Since I recently did a post on that theme I’m still doing a post related to Mrs. Freak’s travels, it’s just taking a slightly different form than she was expecting.

Grizzly Bear “Graceland” (Paul Simon)
Mrs. Freak spent this weekend attending the Minnesota Garlic Festival. The festival is run by her cousin’s husband the hippie garlic farmer. This is the fifth year for the festival and it functions as a yearly gathering of her family. They all make a pilgrimage to the family farm to visit their uncle and catch up with each other, sort of like Paul Simon’s pilgrimage to Graceland.

The Nitty Gritty Dirt Band feat. Doc Watson “I Am A Pilgrim” (Merle Travis)
I don’t think the yearly pilgrimage to the family farm in Minnesota has the spiritual aspect that you find in this song, but I think it’s satisfying for Mrs. Freak’s soul in its own way.

Dr Dru and Jellica “Brick House” (Commodores)
The journey up to Minnesota included a secondary pilgrimage, to the Laura Ingalls Wilder tourist trap in Wisconsin. They’ve set this thing up at the site of the homestead where Little House In The Big Woods takes place. My daughter loved all of the Little House books and wanted to see it. They’ve got a replica of the titular little house. Not surprisingly it’s made of logs, not brick.

Violent Femmes “Step Right Up” (Tom Waits)
Last weekend Mrs. Freak was up in Michigan for the World’s Largest Yard Sale. This was the second time she has gone, so this may be turning into another yearly pilgrimage. I don’t know if anybody at any of those barn sales was doing the kind of hard sell you hear in this song. I especially like how Gordon Gano screams “Turn up the volume!” in his adenoidal voice.

Extra Fancy “Sell Your Love” (Iggy Pop)
There was no love for sale at the Longest Yard Sale. It is, after all, a family-oriented event. So is the Garlic Fest, but they always have a wide variety of garlic-related products available for purchase.

It’s the last day of Lollapalooza, the destination music event that has taken up residence in Grant Park. Local critic Jim DeRogatis does a good job of explaining why somebody might not want to attend what he calls “Walmart On The Lake.” I’ve never been to Lollapalooza. A couple of years ago a friend of mine was supposed to be working at the show and I was hoping she’d be able to get me in for free, but she wound up working on the Tim McGraw tour instead. I’ve never really thought it was worth the money that they’re charging for it.

I was looking at the Lollapalooza web site and noticed that it gave you the option of putting together your own personal festival lineup. You had to register with the site in order to do that, and I wasn’t curious enough about the feature to take the time to register. So I decided to just make my own Lallapalooza lineup right here.

Paul Anka “Black Hole Sun” (Soundgarden)
I was slightly taken aback when I heard that Soundgarden was getting back together for the show. Bands from the 90s are getting back together to play big outdoor festivals followed by lucrative tours. With everything that’s changed in the world since the last time Soundgarden walked the earth, it’s good to know that there are some things that will never change because they’re deeply ingrained in our collective DNA.

In the musical sub-genre of Lounge Covers of Black Hole Sun I much prefer the version by Steve and Eydie, but after a really lethargic introduction Mr. Anka does swing this crazy tune.

Willy Porter “Whip It” (Devo)
I’m not sure if Devo got back together just for the lucrative nostalgia touring, but it wouldn’t surprise me at all to find out that they did. I do like the idea that they were so far ahead of their time the first time around that a lot of people are just catching up to them.

Willy Porter puts a great bluesy spin on this one.

Hot Chip “Transmission” (Joy Division)
I was talking to a woman once whose boyfriend was really into Joy Division. She told me that she tried listening to it but it made her feel like the weight of the world was on her shoulders. That’s the best description I’ve ever heard of Joy Division’s music.

I love what Hot Chip does with this song. It’s got disco guitar, a section that quotes “Baby’s On Fire,” and a great sense of humor.

Drive By Truckers “People Who Died” (Jim Carroll)
This song just never did much for me. It’s not that I don’t like it, I just couldn’t understand why so many people liked it so much. The Drive By Truckers go 70s mindless boogie all over it and the results are excellent.

Jane’s Addiction “Ripple” (Grateful Dead)
If you’ve read my Manifesto you know that this is one of my favorite covers and is also one of my least favorite songs. My dorm roommate in my freshman year of college was an alcoholic who would buy a quart of the cheapest vodka he could find and drink it all at one sitting. He had blackouts two or three times a week. I asked him if it bothered him to have blackouts that frequently. He told me “it used to bother me but I got used to it.” Presumably today he’s sober, in jail, or dead. I wish nothing but the best for the guy.

Anyway, this guy fancied himself a Deadhead. He owned three Grateful Dead albums, two of which were greatest hits packages that had about half their content in common. He Played “Ripple” a lot. A really lot. So I came to associate the song with hopeless drunken dissipation.

But after years of not listening to the Dead I heard this cover by Jane’s Addiction. It’s a joyous, slaphappy song that’s completely unlike the original. They took a song that I never wanted to hear again and made me enjoy listening to it. So I’m sharing it in recognition of Perry Farrell’s appearance at this year’s festival.

Rock and roll has introduced many cultural phenomena, not the least of which is the misheard lyric. Maybe I’m better at understanding poorly enunciated lyrics than other folks, but there aren’t a whole lot of lyrics that I’ve misunderstood over the years. The notable exception is “Last Child” by Aerosmith. I always thought that “I was the last child/just a punk in the streets” was really “I was the last child/just a bucket of sleaze,” which I still think is a much better lyric based on who’s singing it. I really regret that I couldn’t find a decent cover of that song to post.

At any rate, here are a few of the most famously misheard lyrics.

Florence and the Machine “Addicted To Love” (Robert Palmer)
I’ve seen a couple of misquotes for the line “you’re addicted to love:” “you’re a dick with a glove,” and “you’re a dickhead in love.” Either of those makes the song better, but I like the first one. It sounds like an indictment of Michael Jackson.

The Cure “Purple Haze” (Jimi Hendrix)
“‘Scuse me while I kiss this guy,” perhaps the most famous misheard line in all of rock and roll. There’s even a website at kissthisguy.com devoted to misheard lyrics. I’ve had people use that lyric to try to prove to me that Hendrix was gay.

Walter Jackson “Someone Saved My Life Tonight” (Elton John)
Originally it didn’t sound to me like “someone shaved my wife tonight,” but after I heard that interpretation that’s the way I’ve heard it ever since. That line gets even more interesting when you consider that the song is about Elton John’s suicidal thoughts over his pending marriage. His pal Long John Baldry (the “someone” in the title) convinced him not to go through with the marriage and so he didn’t have a wife for someone to shave until years after he recorded the tune. Walter Jackson squeezes soulful blues out of this song that I never suspected was lurking within.

Pinkertone “Louie Louie” (The Kingsmen)
The stunningly inarticulate singing on the original version of this song has turned it into a sort of Rorschach test of rock and roll. People have imagined that the guy was singing all sorts of perverted stuff, probably colored by each individual’s deepest secrets. Pinkertone chicken out and only sing the refrain, treating the verses as instrumental passages. And what does that tell us about them?

The Reels “Bad Moon Rising” (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
This is another one that I had no trouble understanding, but I can see why somebody might think he’s saying “there’s a bathroom on the right.”

The sweaty dog days of summer are upon us. You can hunker down in the air conditioning or you can go to the beach. And who better to provide music for your trip to the beach but the Beach Boys?

Octothorpe “Kokomo” (Beach Boys)
I just love the combination of cheesy keyboards and low-fi production values. The vocals are obnoxiously over modulated. The whole thing sounds like the guy with the battery-powered keyboard singing on the subway platform for tips. Certainly not something you’ll hear on the radio these days.

David Bowie “God Only Knows” (Beach Boys)
This has got to be one of the most unlikely covers ever. David Bowie, even with his many personas, is about as far from a surfer dude as you can get. But here he brings his famous “scary voice” to bear on a splendidly overwrought lounge version of the most melodramatic Beach Boys song.

Melt Banana “Surfin’ USA” (Beach Boys)
This sounds like somebody shoving the Beach Boys down a flight of stairs. The first minute or so is chaotic and almost unlistenable, but hang in there and it turns into a nice little rave up.

Lash “Wouldn’t It Be Nice” (Beach Boys)
The original version of this song manages to be both wistful and hopeful. This one is all twitchy impatience, which to my mind fits the lyrics quite well.

Barry McGuire “Sloop John B” (Beach Boys)
Yeah, it’s the “Eve Of Destruction” guy. His gravel-throated shouting works pretty well on this rockin’ little ditty.

I’ve been on vacation this past week in southwestern Michigan. I haven’t been fishing, I’ve been taking my daughter down to the beach, riding my bicycle, and watching the sun set over Lake Michigan. At any rate, I haven’t had a lot of time to work up a theme this week. So it’s another random selection, with special thanks to Uncle Flakey for several of these tunes.

SST “I’m A Believer” (The Monkees)
It’s a bossa nova cover of the Monkees hit. What’s not to like?

Laramie “Crimson And Clover” (Tommy James and the Shondells)
Bluegrass covers always run the risk of being a little too gimmicky. This version doesn’t have that problem, it works very nicely and sounds like the song was always intended to sound like this.

Tina Louise Barr “Under The Boardwalk” (The Drifters)
Tina Louise Barr is quite the virtuoso on the autoharp. Uncle Flakey sent me a cover album that she did a few years back. It’s good to have friends like Uncle Flakey.

Update: For the first time in the history of this blog, an artist has requested that I remove a song. And so I have.

Sentient Machine “Disco Inferno” (The Trammps)
Sentient Machine is an indie band who sent me this song back in March. It’s a very muscular, guitar-driven version of the disco classic.

Hellsongs “Paranoid” (Black Sabbath)
Early Black Sabbath was a big part of the soundtrack of my adolescent days. Something about a young Ozzy resonated with the pissed off alienated teen that I was. And strangely, this mellow version resonates with the middle-aged suburban guy that I’ve become.