With holiday preparations going on, I just haven’t had time to conjure up a theme this week.

Nick Cave “I Put A Spell On You” (Screamin’ Jay Hawkins)
I once heard Screamin’ Jay say that he was so drunk when he recorded this song that the next morning he didn’t even remember doing it. Hopefully Nick Cave remembers recording this unhinged version. Man, it makes the hair stand up on the back of my neck.

Southern Culture On The Skids “Venus” (Shocking Blue)
The greasiest of greasy boogies.

Pizzicato Five “The Girl From Ipanema” (Antonio Carlos Jobim)
The first time I heard this I thought there was something wrong with my CD player.

David Bromberg “Save The Last Dance For Me” (The Drifters)
From his album Sideman Serenade that celebrated the forgotten sideman. That’s David Lindley dueting with Mr. Bromberg on slide guitar.

The Big Mess Orchestra “Sound And Vision” (David Bowie)
I just love the combination of accordion and tubular bells.

There’s a suburb next door to the neighborhood I where I grew up called Niles. One of the notable features of Niles was an outdoor shopping center near my home called Lawrencewood. It was a low-rent place, and when the anchor store (a Goldblatts) went out of business Lawrencewood began a long slow spiral into vacancy and decay.

Eventually the entire shopping center was empty except for a biker bar with a 4 a.m. liquor license.

But still, every December they would pipe Christmas music through the place 24/7. I used to like walking through the deserted rotting hulk at night, especially when it was snowing, listening to Andy Williams croon about warm holiday memories.

So, my relationship with Christmas music is a little odd. But there are still some seasonal songs I like.

Paul Di’Anno “White Christmas”
Mister Squid gave me the Metal Christmas CD a couple of years ago. It’s great because all the performers are has-beens or almost-weres. Like Paul Di’Anno, the guy who used to sing for Iron Maiden. The CD also features The Chick From Girlschool, The Dude From Uriah Heep, and Carlos Creator, “Spain’s Number One Rock Guitarist.”

Los Straightjackets “Here Comes Santa Claus”
Four guys in Mexican wrestling masks playing surf versions of Christmas carols. What’s not to like?

The Roches “The Hallelujiah Chorus”
Yeah, it’s still more a capella stuff. But it’s beautiful.

David Bowie and Bing Crosby “Little Drummer Boy”
A seasonal favorite. This is why I love TV variety shows and specials from the 1960s and 70s. Check out the video here. Less obscure than most of the stuff I post but every bit as odd and enjoyable.

Poi Dog Pondering “Mele Kalikimaka”
Considering that Frank Orral hails from Hawaii you’d expect this tune to be a bit more, oh, breezy. But no, it’s a New Orleans jazz version of the island classic first popularized by none other than Bing Crosby.

I can’t sing. At all. So I appreciate people who can.

The Persuasions “My Guitar Wants To Kill Your Mama” (Frank Zappa)
The Persuasions signed their first record deal with FZ’s Straight Records label. They never met him but always appreciated the break and years later released an entire CD of a capella covers of Zappa songs. I especially like their take on the theme from Lumpy Gravy but I figured more people would recognize this tune.

Dokaka “Kid Charlemagne” (Steely Dan)
I’m not real big on the human beatbox genre, but this kid’s got talent.

The Bobs “Bird On A Wire” (Leonard Cohen)
I saw the Bobs perform live a few years ago and as I was getting a CD signed I asked Richard Bob if Leonard Cohen knew what they had done to his song. He said (in his freakishly low voice) that they had sent him a copy of the song and had never heard back from him. But mutual acquaintances had assured him that Mr. Cohen has a sense of humor.

Mystery Vocal Group “Gangsta’s Paradise” (Coolio)
Update: Alert reader Chris sent me this link to Rockapella’s web site where they say that they’ve never recorded “Gangsta’s Paradise.” The Inernet lied to me! I feel so…used. Anyway, enjoy the song and if you know the real artist please let me know so I can credit the song accordingly.

There just aren’t enough a capella versions of rap songs. The really interesting part of this song is the choral background arrangement. And whatever happened to Coolio, anyway?

The Red Army Choir “Down Under” (Men At Work)
I know it’s really not a capella because there’s an accordion in there. But I still think it’s pretty amusing.

This tune comes from Volume One of the Andrew Denton Musical Challenge CDs. They were put out by an Australian radio station and were culled from their morning show. I would dearly love to have Volumes Two and Three so if any readers (especially the Australians–I know you’re out there) have a better source than eBay to get those CDs please let me know. I would be both thrilled and grateful.

Heavy snow. Cold temperatures. Let’s go to Vegas, baby!

Eldissa “Staying Alive” (Bee Gees)
Eldissa specializes in lounge versions of disco hits. I never realized how this song could swing without the falsetto vocals.

Nouvelle Vague “Too Drunk To Fuck” (Dead Kennedys)
Not to be outdone, Nouvelle Vague is a band that does bossa nova covers of punk and new wave hits. Apparently “nouvelle vague” means “new wave” in French.

Steve and Eydie “Black Hole Sun” (Soundgarden)
Yes, it’s Steve Lawrence and Eydie Gorme. From the Merv Griffin Show.

I was teaching a computer class in Evanston one fine day. While Evanston has many things to recommend it, there is no good way to get from there to my home. So I was stuck there at rush hour after the class was over. There was an indie record store across the street from where I was teaching so I strolled in to kill some time while traffic died down and picked up the Lounge-A-Palooza CD.

I don’t know if it’s still in print, but check it out if you get the chance. It’s almost entirely lounge covers of rock songs, with performances by Ben Folds, Pizzicato Five, and P.J. Harvey.

Pat Boone “Paradise City” (Guns N’ Roses)
In a desperate attempt to be hip, Pat Boone put out a CD of hard rock and heavy metal covers called “In A Metal Mood.” He even had Dweezil Zappa help out on a couple of tracks.

The liner notes sound sincere as he talks about what quality songs these are. I remember him appearing on TV at the time shirtless wearing a leather vest. He looked like a creepy sugar daddy hanging out in the back of a gay bar.

Allegedly Slash’s original lyric was about going to Paradise City “where the girls are fat and they got big titties.” I would pay large sums of money to hear Pat Boone sing that.

Ragnar Bjarnason “Smells Like Teen Spirit” (Nirvana)
There are lots of covers of “Teen Spirit.” Probably too many. There are almost as many covers of this as there are of “Stairway to Heaven” or all of the Beatles catalog. The Tori Amos version just makes me want to slap her.

I can understand why everybody wants to cover it, though. The Nevermind CD and especially “Teen Spirit” changed everything, at least for a couple of years. Before too long we’ll be inundated with covers of songs from Green Day’s American Idiot CD for the same reason.

“Teen Spirit” really seems to appeal to lounge artists, probably because they think doing a grunge song makes them hip, cool, and ironic. I picked this song because I like the horn arrangement.

Pastel Vespa “Living On A Prayer” (Bon Jovi)
Pastel Vespa is a character created by an Australian woman while she was working as an entertainer on an cruise ship. She’s the love child of a Brazilian woman and a scion of the Italian scooter-making clan. The only English word her mother knew was “pastel,” so she named her daughter that so she would have a happy, pretty life.

How’s that for a back story, Chris Gaines?

I really wanted to post a particular song this week and instead of conjuring up a theme to fit the song, I’m just posting some random covers that I like.

Anna Fermin’s Trigger Gospel “Besame Mucho” (Emilio Tuero and many others)
I was at Trigger Gospel‘s CD release show last weekend. A great band, and a truly phenomenal singer whose voice gives me the chills. Anna Fermin’s also a wonderful songwriter and a very charismatic performer. Buy all of her CDs and see her perform live if you ever get the chance.

In a way posting a cover does a disservice to Ms. Fermin’s gifts as a songwriter, but this is the song that totally blew me away the first time I heard them play live.

Albert Kuvezin and Yat-Kha “When the Levee Breaks” (Led Zeppelin)
Albert Kuvezin is a throat-singer from the tiny nation of Tuva. All of those weird buzzing and whistling noises you’re hearing are coming out of his throat. Simultaneously, without overdubs. He’s also a good guitarist.

Mr. Kuvezin has done a wonderful job of combining traditional Tuvan music and Western rock and roll to create something new and exciting. Watching him perform live is absolutely riveting. This song is one of the freakiest things I’ve ever heard. And that’s really saying something.

Sparks “Sixteen Tons” (Tennessee Ernie Ford)
This comes from a defunct (or at least comatose) website called Coverfight. The idea was that a song would be assigned and individuals or bands would submit covers of said song. The readers of the website would then vote on a winner. I don’t remember if this song won its competition or not, but it just speaks to me for some reason.

Tom Waits “Heigh Ho” (From Disney’s “Snow White”)
Sure, the songs from Disney cartoons can be sappy. That’s what makes this such a find. Mr. Waits really makes you realize that those dwarves aren’t stupid and would really rather be hanging out with Snow White than risking their lives digging in a diamond mine.

Baumann “Strangers In The Night” (Frank Sinatra)
In 1983, Peter Baumann from Tangerine Dream did this. I have the 12-inch single that the music director at my college radio station gave me because I loved it so.

As the years have gone by, I’ve grown to love it even more. This is really the only mid-80s synthpop song you ever have to hear. Well, maybe not the only one. “Sex Dwarf” by Soft Cell is also worth listening to. But this song’s got it all: monotonously throbbing synthesizers, a total lack of emotion, and the odd snippet of German for no apparent reason.

After releasing this, Mr. Baumann went on to found the New Age record label and foist Yanni on the world. If only this album would have sold better we might have been spared.