A friend was recently ranting to me about how much he hates the song “I Will Survive.” He has very strong feelings about the matter. He’s apparently not alone as you can see below.

And of course his rant made me want to post songs of feminine empowerment.

Cake “I Will Survive” (Gloria Gaynor cover)
Cletus claims that this song expresses hatred for all men. I’ve never gotten that out of the lyrics. It just seems to be a kiss-off for a particular former boyfriend. Unless the line “I’m saving all my loving for someone who’s loving me” is some kind of Lesbian Code.

Cake does a wonderful job of saving this tune from Disco Hell. The trumpet is a nice touch.

Big Fish Ensemble “I Am Woman” (Helen Reddy cover)
Pravda Records was a small indie label here in Chicago. They bit the dust long ago, but before they left they graced us with three CDs that paid trubute to the K-Tel records of yore. Various indie bands covered songs that many of us saw crawling up the TV screen in late night commercials.

I used to work with a guy who played drums for Spys Who Surf, who contributed a song to one of these CDs. He said that they not only didn’t get paid, they didn’t even get a copy of the CD. He was happy when I was able to dub off a copy for him.

Ted Leo “Since U Been Gone” (Kelly Clarkson cover)
For a long time I thought Prince wrote this song because of the way the title is spelled. I was mistaken and then shocked when I learned that “When You Were Mine” was actually spelled correctly by the Purple Dwarf.

Anyway, I guess Ted Leo and his band the Pharmacists are currently one of the It Bands for the Pitchfork Media crowd. On this song he tones down the bombast of the original while keeping the passion.

The Fixx “These Boots Are Made for Walking” (Nancy Sinatra cover)
It can’t be easy being Frank Sinatra’s daughter. I’m sure he threatened to have a few people killed in order to get her a record deal. I was expecting a Nancy Sinatra Renaissance after her song “Bang Bang (My Baby Shot Me Down)” was used in the movie Kill Bill, but that never happened. I guess Quentin Tarrantino only has so much power over pop culture.

There are boatloads of covers of this song out there, performed by men and by women. A quick search of the iTunes Store turned up about 70. Most of the covers mindlessly ape the original and aren’t worth anybody’s time. This one is a very downtempo version, which is not at all what I expected from the Fixx.

Trailer Bride “Fujiama Mama” (Wanda Jackson cover)
She’ll blow your head off with nitroglycerin. Yowsa!

This is from a Wanda Jackson tribute CD put out by Bloodshot Records a year or two ago. For those not hip to Wanda, she’s one of the original rockabilly performers and a role model for many of today’s rock chix. She’s still performing today and has been enjoying a bit of a career renaissance herself lately. And nobody deserves it more.

If you’re a bluegrass band or a country and western band, it can be pretty easy to cover just about any song. Almost as easy as doing a reggae cover. There are certain rules for these musical forms, and you can reduce them to a formula if you don’t want to work too hard.

That’s why it’s nice to find some good ones.

The Bad Livers “Lust for Life” (Iggy Pop cover)
I went to the first Intonation Festival with my brother-in-law Mister Squid. We sought refuge from the blazing sun in the tent full of music purveyors. We came out with this brand-spanking-new British EP pressed on bright orange vinyl called The Golden Years. It seems to be a live recording (maybe done in a radio studio) from early in their career.

It also includes a great medley of “Jailbait” by Motorhead and “Ring of Fire” by Johnny Cash. Truly they were the bluegrass band from Hell. Banjo picker Danny Barnes is still making music if you’re interested.

The Meat Purveyors “S.O.S.” (Abba cover)
Another great band that’s just recently called it quits. They were always good for a cover or two when they played live, along with original songs about trucker speed. They had some great titles for their CDs too. This one’s from “All Relationships Are Doomed To Fail.”

Two Tons of Steel “Sedated” (Ramones cover)
According to the band’s website:

Two Tons’ rockabilly-style cover of The Ramones’ “I Wanna Be Sedated,” which it started playing in 1998 and just as quickly became a fan favorite, is also on the new album. “A lot of guys think that they have to write everything. I take my hat off to them when they do,” says Geil. “But I think it’s great to find old songs and play them. People dig it.”

I like his attitude.

Luther Wright and the Wrongs “Another Brick In The Wall” (Pink Floyd cover)
From the famous CD that covered all the songs on Pink Floyd’s “The Wall” album as country songs. You have to admire the ambition, but I don’t know if I can listen to Luther’s whole album. It’s like when Camper Van Beethoven covered “Tusk” by Fleetwood Mac. It’s more interesting in concept than in execution. But I’ve never been a big fan of “The Wall” or “Tusk” so maybe I’m just missing something.

Sally Timms “Tumbling Tumbleweeds” (Sons of the Pioneers cover)
Quite different from her work with the Mekons, eh? She’s done a couple of CDs of country music but I read an interview where she said that she’s not ashamed of them but she never listens to them. Her loss, I guess. Her last CD was a real depressing chore to listen to. But her voice is amazing regardless of the material she’s singing.

And for your trivia fans, Sally Timms used to be married to Fred Armisen of Saturday Night Live fame. I actually saw him open for the Mekons as his annoying-guy-with-the-timbales character. I was unimpressed.

A cover song can be so bad that it’s good. All I really ask is that the artist recording the song make it his or her own. Songs that are intentionally/ironically bad can have a certain appeal (I’m talkin’ to you, Richard Cheese), but the best ones are always the ones that are unintentionally bad. The audio equivalent of “Plan Nine From Outer Space.”

Gene Simmons “When You Wish Upon A Star” (Judy Garland)
During my childhood the members of KISS each put out a solo album. Each record came with a poster and if you bought all four records you could put the individual posters together to create one huge bitchin’ KISS poster. I only ever bought the Gene Simmons album, and then only because I got it for half a buck in the cutout bin. Sadly it didn’t come with the poster.

What I’ve always wondered is, who told Mr. Simmons that this was a good idea? Who told him that he could sing in that key? Or in any key for the entire length of a song? It’s like he’s in a steel cage, wrestling with the high notes and getting his butt kicked.

Mrs. Miller “Downtown” (Petula Clark)
Mrs. Miller was actually a popular recording artist in the early sixties, putting out several albums and making the rounds of the TV talk shows. As far as I can tell she was not in on the joke. She thought she was a great singer. But her producers were in on the joke and apparently encouraged her to push herself to extremes, as it were. She used to suck on an ice cube before she sang so she could produce a good tight whistle. You have to admire her dedication to her craft, even if you don’t admire the results.

Anthony Newley “Within You, Without You” (The Beatles)
This comes to us from the 1977 ABC television special “Beatles Forever”. And what a cast! Paul Williams! Mel Tillis! Tony Randall! And how did Ray Charles get roped into it?

Television networks are always trying to attract that prized youth demographic, as are aging over-emotive crooners. The result is a marriage made in some special circle of hell intended for music lovers.

I know it’s tough to declare any song the Worst Beatles Cover Ever. There are so many choices, and you always have the work of William Shatner to contend with. But this has to at least be a serious contender.

Potliquor “Old Man River” (From the 1927 musical “Show Boat”)
Back in the Seventies anybody could get a record contract. Exhibit A is Potliquor, a Southern rock band I stumbled across while working at my college radio station. “Turgid” is the word that always comes to mind when I hear this tune. “Overblown,” and “pretentious” are also acceptable answers.

This is actually an edited version of the song. I cut out about three minutes worth of a dirge-like acapella version of “Dixie” that segues into “Old Man River.” If you had ever heard it you would thank me.

Conjunto 3D “When the Saints Go Marching In” (Louis Armstrong and many others)
If you look around on the Internet you’ll find lots of old lounge/exotica records that have been digitized and made available for download. Don’t judge them all by this.

They’re from Brazil, maybe they’ve spent a little too much time on the beach. They have absolutely no feel for the song they’re performing. It’s like Norwegian fishermen trying to play klezmer music.

Gary Schneider “Green Tambourine” (The Lemon Pipers)
I found this little gem on the Internet so I don’t know if it was ever commercially released or if it was just a vanity project. If anybody has any information on this guy or his album “Just for Fun, Just for Friends” please pass it along. It sure sounds like Mr. Schneider set up his tape recorder next to the Magic Wirlitzer in his living room and went to town.

And he gets his money’s worth out of that thing. He’s got an army of synthesized zombies keeping time. And what’s that button do? Oooh, it makes my voice sound all wierd. Cool!

It’s that sort of bold musical experimentation that has driven all of the great composers and performers. I wonder of Peter Frampton heard this and decided to try that freaky vocal thing on “Do You Feel Like We Do.”

Some of my posts will have a theme, some will be random. This one has a theme. I hope to post once a week or so.

The Beat Farmers walked the earth from the mid-80s to the mid-90s. Their drummer and sometime singer was Country Dick Montana, a mountain of a man in a duster jacket. He literally died with his boots on, having a heart attack after a show.

They were a great live band and recorded some great originals, but they were also deft at picking covers. Some of these tunes are by the Beat Farmers, some are from a Country Dick solo record.

The Beat Farmers “Big Rock Candy Mountain” (Trad/Burl Ives)
From an EP that the band recorded in England. I really enjoyed hearing the original hobo lyrics after growing up listening to the sanitized kid-song version.

Country Dick Montana “Karma Chameleon” (Culture Club)
This is really the Beat Farmers under an assumed name. This EP also included the classic tune “Little Ball of Yarn.”

The Beat Farmers “Led Zeppelin Medley” (Led Zeppelin)
When I saw them play this live the first time three band members held plastic letters over their heads spelling L-S-D so the audience would know what influenced this opus.

The Pleasure Barons “Tom Jones Medley” (Tom Jones)
This was done by a band that Country Dick had with Mojo Nixon.