Tuesday marked the start of the school year for the public schools in Chicago, although my daughter started last week because we live in the suburbs. That’s as good a reason as any to celebrate education with music.

Moby “Verb: That’s What’s Happening” (From Schoolhouse Rock)
When I think of Moby I don’t think of a rockin’ beat and all sorts of wailing distorted guitars. It’s really quite cool, especially if you grew up with Schoolhouse Rock. For you youngsters out there, Schoolhouse Rock was a series of short cartoons that ran in between the regular Saturday morning TV cartoons. Each episode featured a song about science, math, grammar, or American history. I can still recite the preamble of the Constitution thanks to those cartoons.

Devil In A Woodpile “Good Morning Little Schoolgirl” (Sonny Boy Williamson)
The ad campaign for Gossip Girl uses the tagline “every parent’s nightmare.” Having your daughter bring home Rick “Cookin'” Sherry would be a much worse nightmare. He sounds so sleazy.

Manhead “Birth, School, Work, Death” (The Godfathers)
Here the most nihilistic sing-along ever gets turned into a smooth nihilistic dance number. I guess the guys in the Godfathers weren’t looking forward to a fulfilling retirement after they were done with work.

Christy Carlson Romano “Teacher’s Pet” (Doris Day)
Ms. Romano sounds like such a dedicated student. She makes me want to take up a career in education.

Richard Cheese “Hot For Teacher” (Van Halen)
There was a young woman who taught English at my high school. She was kinda cute. Not a great beauty, but since it was an all-boys Catholic school she was easily the best-looking woman in the school. She was pretty much the only woman in the school. She had problems controlling the adolescent boys in her class.

One day while she was talking in front of the class her blouse started coming unbuttoned. One button, then the next and the next. She wasn’t wearing a bra so she flashed the whole class. The class went uncharacteristically silent as we all held our breath, gaping in disbelief and wondering how long this would go on. She seemed unaware of what was happening. She walked around with her blouse hanging open for about a half hour, until she finally figured it out and picked up a book from her desk to hold against her chest. She soldiered on through the last five minutes of class as if nothing were amiss. I was amazed by her ability to maintain her composure.

That was the only convincing demonstration of telekinesis that I have ever personally witnessed. I have no other explanation for it. I’ve always wondered what made her decide to go to work at an all-boys high school without a bra. At any rate it was the closest I’ve ever come to being in a Van Halen video.