Before we got married my wife and I visited a friend of hers in Germany. During a discussion with our hostess I referred to something as “cheesy” and my wife and I had to struggle to explain the concept to her. I have since found a great definition at urbandictionary.com:

Trying too hard, unsubtle, and inauthentic.

Specifically that which is unsubtle or inauthentic in its way of trying to elicit a certain response from a viewer, listener, audience, etc. Celine Dion is cheesy because her lyrics, timbre, key changes, and swelling orchestral accompaniment telegraph ‘I want you to be moved’ instead of moving you. Gold chains on an exposed hairy chest are cheesy because they shout out: “I have money and I am manly” instead of impressing a woman in a more subtle way, or allowing a woman to form her own judgments. The excessive showing off suggests he’s compensating for what he does not have–i.e., he’s actually poor, insecure, or short with an inferiority complex. Cliches are often cheesy because they are an obvious and artless way of making a point. A movie might be cheesy if it contains ‘on the nose’ dialogue, like “I can’t live without you” or “You had me at hello.”

Cheesiness is subjective. What seems cheesy to me, may be a legitimate and attractive hairstyle to you. What seems cheesy to me, may cause you to weep and hug your girlfriend tight.

I mention this because a friend of mine has been asked to play her harp during brunch at a local cheese shop. So to help her out I’m providing some cheesy songs she can play for the occasion.

Zed “Una Paloma Blanca” (George Baker Selection)
This is such a relentlessly chipper song. He’s a bird in the sky smelling the new-mown hay and listening to the voice of God. All because he’s, you know, free.

Big Fish Ensemble “I Am Woman” (Helen Reddy)
Talk about your lack of subtlety. Helen Reddy wanted to record a song to inspire legions of women’s libbers, regardless of how artless or overblown the result. I love this cover because the singer doesn’t change the original lyrics and also does nothing to hide the fact that he’s a man. He sounds like he’s singing the theme song from a beer commercial.

Dead Kennedys “Take This Job And Shove It” (Johnny Paycheck)
There are plenty of sincere, heartfelt songs about the struggles of the working man. This is not one of them. It just takes the one thing everybody’s always wanted to say to their boss and turns it into a chorus.

Hybrid Kids “Do Ya Think I’m Sexy” (Rod Stewart)
If you have to ask, you’re not. This is the aural equivalent of gold chains and a hairy chest.

Slim Whitman “Danny Boy” (comp. Frederick Weatherly)
Here’s a song seemingly written with the express purpose of inducing uncontrolled sobbing in rooms full of drunken Irishmen. It’s maudlin and sappy. And surprisingly enough when you add yodeling it gets even cheesier.