For some reason arena rock bands are required at some point in the show to speak the name of the city in which they’re playing. It doesn’t mean anything except that they know what city they happen to be in that night. Of course it can backfire when the band is in Pittsburgh and the singer says “We love you, Cleveland!”

When I was in college I went to see Yes play in Kansas City. I only went because I got a free ticket, free barbecue and free beer. The show was a dreary by-the-numbers affair that was obviously the same every night. At one point for no reason at all the singer spoke the words “Kansas City” and the crowd obligingly cheered. The show distilled for me the artistic bankruptcy of corporate arena-rock.

I would be more impressed if the band members would talk about the local sports team, or local politics, or some local institution. But that would require effort beyond somebody whispering in your ear what city you’re in. At any rate here are some songs that are about particular cities, more or less.

The Buys Boys “Detroit Rock City” (Kiss)
This song was written about a real-life Kiss fan who got drunk and killed himself in a car crash on his way to a Kiss show. Exactly the kind of thing you’d expect a jackass like Paul Stanley to write a stirring rock anthem about. The Buys Boys deliver a hilarious Euro-trash take on it, all cheesy synthesizers and bouncy bass lines.

Everclear “Night Train To Memphis” (Roy Acuff)
It’s hard-rocking and joyous, bringing Roy Acuff into the modern era.

Maxine Weldon “Lodi” (Creedence Clearwater Revival)
I don’t like listening to people who are more fortunate than I am complain about how hard their lives are. The song “Taxman,” where a millionaire bitches about paying his taxes comes to mind. I also don’t like most songs about how hard life on the road is for touring musicians. I truly despise Bob Seger’s “Turn The Page.” But I’ve always had some affection for “Lodi” because it’s a sad song about a dream gone wrong. And I really like Maxine Weldon’s swinging horn-fueled arrangement.

No Empathy “The Night Chicago Died” (Paperlace)
Everybody from Chicago knows that this song was written by somebody who never lived here. The song states that the events it describes took place on the “East Side of the city.” There is no East Side of Chicago. There’s a North Side, a South Side, and a West Side. But the eastern border of the city is Lake Michigan, and the eastern side of the city is known as the Lakefront.

Beyond that small annoyance is the bigger problem of a song about gangsters. For a long time if you traveled overseas and told people you were from Chicago they would point their fingers like a gun and talk about Al Capone. Then Michael Jordan came along and foreigners always wanted to talk about him. Now that Jordan’s retired it seems that Al Capone is once again what the world thinks about when they think of Chicago. We’ll have to work on that.

The Michigan Amazin’ Blue “Englishman In New York” (Sting)
It’s not often that you can look at a single song in a musician’s career and say with conviction that that’s where he jumped the shark. This is one of those songs. It marked Sting’s transition from reggae-lite pop musician to purveyor of horrible lite-jazz pablum. After listening to this could anybody have been surprised when he came out with an album of lute music?

This song does work well as an a capella piece though.

I’ve had this nagging wheezy cough for about three weeks. It’s really starting to wear on me. My doctor wants me to come in for a chest x-ray to make sure I don’t have pneumonia. I toyed with the idea of not posting this week but I’ve never missed a post and I have no intention of starting now. So instead you get a self-pitying post of songs about being sick.

Nora O’Connor w/Ground Speed “Poor Old Heartsick Me” (Margie Bowes)
Fortunately my heart is fine, it’s my chest that’s sick. Ms. O’Connor is one of my favorite Chicago singers. Unfortunately she doesn’t sing around town nearly often enough.

Simply Red “The Air That I Breathe” (The Hollies)
Yes, all I need is the air that I breathe. Unfortunately breathing has been a bit of a problem lately. This isn’t a radical reinvention of the Hollies hit, but I do like the percussion and the keyboards.

The White Stripes “St. James Infirmary Blues” (Traditional)
I’m not a big White Stripes fan. I appreciate Jack White’s low-fi approach but the horrible drumming gets on my nerves pretty quickly. I do like the job they do with this song though.

Vitamin String Quartet “Down With The Sickness” (Disturbed)
I’m not down with the sickness, the sickness has me down. There’s a difference.

John Mayer “I Don’t Need No Doctor” (Ray Charles)
I don’t pay much attention to John Mayer. He’s just too pretty for me to be concerned with. I do know that his tweets are a publicist’s nightmare and I like that.

Tax day was last Thursday. I’ll be getting a decent refund, but for all the wrong reasons. Since I’m self-employed I make quarterly payments based on what my accountant estimates my income will be. My business did really badly last year and so I ended up overpaying on my taxes. On the whole I would rather have had a more profitable year and no tax refund.

Much has been made about the “Tea Party” yabbos complaining about their tax burden, among other things. As far as I can tell they haven’t offered any constructive ideas about how to pay for George Bush’s off-budget war without raising tax revenue now that those bills are coming due. But they’re hardly the first people to complain about paying taxes. George Harrison was a fabulously wealthy man when he wrote a song complaining about how much he had to pay in taxes. Over the years that song has been reinterpreted by many people in many styles. Here are a few examples.

Hideki “Taxman” (Beatles)
I really like the big hollow drum sound on this one. It’s a little downtempo and makes the taxman sound pretty menacing. Pretty much in line with everybody’s opinion of the guy.

Stevie Ray Vaughan “Taxman” (Beatles)
Stevie Ray does his signature loud Texas white guy blues thing all over the Beatles. I know that SRV is a guitar god tragically cut down in the prime of life and all that, but every one of his songs sounds the same to me. While I like loud Texas white guy blues and I willingly admit that SRV was very talented from a technical perspective, I’ve never found him to be particularly original or creative. I’m sure I’ll get lots of grief for saying that.

Black Oak Arkansas “Taxman” (Beatles)
I was surprised at how well this song works as a 70s-style Southern rock workout.

Doug Pinnick “Taxman” (Beatles)
This song is from the album Butchering The Beatles, which is a heavy metal tribute to the Fab Four. The album cover is a really disgusting takeoff on the famous “butcher boy” album cover.

Xenon Light “Taxman” (Beatles)
This comes to us from the late lamented Cover Fight website. It’s very percussive and driven by a glitchy keyboard.

I had my fantasy baseball draft on Friday, so I spent last week pondering the Pirates’ middle infield situation instead of carefully crafting a Cover Freak post. So this week you get a random collection of songs. Whaddya want for nothin’?

The Watson Twins “Just Like Heaven” (The Cure)
The Watson Twins really are twins who traffic in folks, roots and Americana music. This is a nice dreamy downtempo take on the Cure.

My Brightest Diamond “Tainted Love” (Gloria Jones)
No, “Tainted Love” is not a Soft Cell song. Gloria Jones originally recorded the song in 1964 to widespread critical and commercial indifference. The song was resurrected as a club hit in Britain in 1973 and Ms. Jones recorded another version of it in 1976 which also sank without a trace. The boys in Soft Cell knew the song as a British club song and recorded a synthesizer-heavy arrangement that became a huge hit in 1981. Now just about everybody who covers this song covers the Soft Cell version. This version is has a faster tempo than you usually hear, closer to the tempo of the original song.

Ghoti Hook “Earth Angel” (The Penguins)
There’s just something about a revved-up doo-wop song that makes me glad to be alive.

Reel Big Fish “Kiss Me Deadly” (Lita Ford)
Whenever I post a song that I think is by Reel Big Fish somebody writes in to tell me that it’s actually by some other band. But I’m pretty sure that this really is RBF. It’s a good ska treatment of the minor hair-metal hit from the 80s. When I was staying at the Hard Rock Hotel in Orlando they had a picture of Lita Ford on the wall by the pay phones. She was trying hard to look like a tough rock chick but you could see her kid tugging at her leg just at the edge of the frame. It was a actually a very touching photo, just not for any intended reason.

Björk “Top Of The World” (The Carpenters)
I’ve never understood the appeal of Björk. She’s always struck me as a slightly less annoying version of Yoko Ono. But I’ve gotta say that I like this oddly-syncopated Carpenters cover.

The depressing gloom and chill of February lasted through most of March in my neck of the woods. But now the sun is shining and it’s pleasantly warm. I even got sunburned when I was out and about on Thursday. Time for a tribute to our good friend Mister Sun.

Mel Tormé “Sunshine Superman” (Donovan)
They just don’t ’em like Mel Tormé any more. The Velvet Frog was a gifted singer who didn’t take himself too seriously. He had a sense of humor and wasn’t afraid to tackle musical styles beyond the world of jazz where he made his reputation. Like this super-groovy take on Donovan’s hit.

Frank Zappa “Sunshine Of Your Love” (Cream)
This comes from an album recorded on FZ’s last tour in 1988 called The Best Band You Never Heard In Your Life. The album has great liner notes, referring to the collection of “demented” covers it contains. That’s a fine word to describe this Kingfish-meets-Johnny Cash mariachi mashup. It ends rather abruptly because all the songs on that album segue into each other.

Frente! “Open Up Your Heart And Let The Sun Shine In” (The McGuire Sisters)
Long before I was hip to the McGuire Sisters I knew this song from the Flintstones cartoon show. I don’t remember Pebbles and Bamm-Bamm singing the overtly Christian lyrics but it’s been awhile since I heard their version. It would be kinda cool to hear them singing about how they hate Satan, now that I think about it. This is a very chipper alterna-rock arrangement.

Andy Griffith “House Of The Rising Sun” (Traditional)
Andy Griffith did a fair amount of singing on his TV show, mostly folk and bluegrass stuff. A lot of the time he was singing with the Dillards, so his musical talents were disguised to a certain extent. Here ol’ Anj is front and center singing in a blues style for which he has absolutely no aptitude.

Tom Jones “Sunny Afternoon” (The Kinks)
Nothing says summertime like a bracing shot of Tom Jones. He works his leather lunged magic over a wonderfully creative arrangement that completely reimagines the classic rock staple.