By now everybody knows that a couple of fame-whore douchebags crashed President Obama’s first state dinner at the White House. It was certainly a failure on the part of the Secret Service and those agents responsible need to have their heads put on sticks as a warning to others. But the amount of time this story has been in the news and the vitriol with which it has been reported makes me think that there’s more to it than meets the eye. After all, this is hardly the first time this has happened. White House security has been breached 91 times in the past 30 years, including one clown who did it three times.

Bryan Ferry “It’s My Party” (Lesley Gore)
Washington is a notoriously insular place. Politicians, lobbyists, reporters and socialites all exist in a big clubby experiment in social darwinism. Everybody is expected to know their place and to stay there. And that’s the great crime of the party crashers. It was the elite’s party and they invaded the turf of the elite and for that they must pay.

Eldissa “Fame” (Irene Cara)
It’s obviously all about fame for these two nimrods. They thought this stunt would get them on a reality TV show. As though that’s a worthwhile goal. And now some congresscritters want to force them to testify before Congress, which would be like throwing Br’er Rabbit into the briar patch. Andy Warhol’s epigram seems so trite and innocent now. These days the problem’s not that everybody is famous for fifteen minutes but that a media environment has emerged that encourages fame-whoring so all those digital cable channels and blogs have content to deliver to the rest of us who are still trying to become famous for fifteen minutes.

Camper Van Beethoven “Photograph” (Ringo Starr)
The whole thing might have been swept under the rug if not for the photographs. If the party crashers had just eaten dinner and done the receiving line it wouldn’t have been such a big deal. They could have even taken photos with famous people if they had just hung the photos in their home. But they had to go and post them on Facebook and at that point they couldn’t be ignored any longer.

Thin White Rope “Town Without Pity” (Gene Pitney)
I don’t know if there was a physical velvet rope that those doofuses talked their way past. Maybe it was a thin white rope. We’ll probably never know.

Stretch Arm Strong “Get The Party Started” (Pink)
I think that the party would have gotten started just fine without them.

In classical music circles an orchestra is defined to be a large musical ensemble that consists of four equal sections: brass, woodwinds, strings, and percussion. Other musical styles have laid claim to the term as a description of a large band, regardless of its composition. What kind of stuff do these non-classical orchestras play? Glad you asked.

Das Palast Orchester “Sex Bomb” (Tom Jones)
This sounds like something Frank Zappa would play with one of his big touring bands. Frank loved a good romp through all the cliches of a musical style, played with crack precision. I might just like this version better than the original, which is saying something given my unnatural love of Tom Jones.

Nicholas Tremulis Orchestra “Velvet Guitar” (Alejandro Escovedo)
Nicholas Tremulis is something of a local institution in Chicago. His orchestra plays an incredibly broad variety of music, and here they put a calypso spin on this Alejandro Escovedo song.

The Woody Jackson Orchestra With Money Mark “Love’s Theme” (Love Unlimited Orchestra)
No strings or porno waka-chika guitar here. It’s a all about the roller rink, baby. Dang, now I have a mental image of Barry White on roller skates. I need to think of something else fast.

Man Chau Po Orchestra “Sealed With A Kiss” (The Four Voices)
It sounds like it’s from the soundtrack of a teenage surf movie from the 50s. This song would be playing during the makeout scene on the beach, just before Conflict occurred. Then all the good-hearted but misunderstood kids would have to run off to save the girl/defeat the monster/stick it to The Man with barely enough time to brush off the sand. This comes from an album with a truly great title: The A-Go-Go From River Kwai.

The Ukulele Orchestra Of Great Britain “Dy-Na-Mi-Tee” (Ms. Dynamite)
These guys are hilariously funny but they also have great chops.

It’s been a long, busy weekend filled with travel, family and eating. Now you need to go back to work. That’s bound to give a body the blues.

Booker T. “Get Behind The Mule” (Tom Waits)
This comes to us from Potato Hole, the first solo album from Booker T. in decades. It’s an instrumental so even the people who hate Tom Waits’ voice can enjoy it.

Devil In A Woodpile “Bron-Y-Aur Stomp” (Led Zeppelin)
I was driving with noted guitarist and man-about-town Mister Mitch and this song popped up on my iPod. He immediately asked who it was and where he could get himself a copy. I liked the song anyway, but the way it snapped a guitarist’s head around made it seem just a little cooler.

Kenny Brown “Laughing To Keep From Cryin'” (R.L. Burnside)
I was introduced to the music of Mr. Burnside when Alejandro Escovedo played this song one night. Then I discovered his album Wish I Was In Heaven Sitting Down and I was hooked.

Martin Philadelphy “Abracadabra” (Steve Miller Band)
Who knew that a blues tune lurked inside the disposable pop tune of my youth? This song is from the very excellent compilation from Ink Records Death To The 80s.

Hobo Blues Band “Tobacco Road” (J.D. Loudermilk)
And let’s finish things up with a Hungarian blues band. I don’t know much about these guys but a quick run through some of their videos on YouTube reveals a musical direction that ranges from raw blues to flaccid arena rock.

Teenage Fanclub
I’ve added a button at the top of the right column so it’s easy to become a fan of Cover Freak on Facebook, if you’re so inclined. Amassing an army of Facebook fans will be the first step in my plan to take over the world and smite my enemies. I haven’t worked out the details yet, but I’m convinced that having lots of fans will be vital.

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I used to date a woman who had family in Toronto. She insisted that we always spend the long Thanksgiving holiday visiting her family Up North. The only problem was that the Canadians celebrate Thanksgiving two weeks earlier than Americans do, so for several years I missed Thanksgiving in two countries. The Thanksgiving thing wasn’t a large factor in why we broke up, but ever since then I’ve savored Thanksgiving just a little bit more. My family will be hosting relatively modest feast for 11 various and sundry relatives and neighbors this year. Hopefully all my American readers will enjoy the yearly combination of family time and gluttony which is one of our defining national holidays.

The Persuasions “Lumpy Gravy” (Frank Zappa)
We run Thanksgiving as a potluck at the Casa de Freak. We provide the turkey, the guests bring the rest. Since I insist on having mashed potatoes and gravy with my Thanksgiving dinner I have to make those too. The potatoes aren’t a problem but my gravy still needs some work.

The Handsome Family “Sunday Morning Coming Down” (Kris Kristofferson)
Thanksgiving is a very family-oriented holiday. Hopefully yours is a handsome one, it makes it easier to look across the table at them.

Andrew Bird and Scott Ligon “Cadillacin’ In My Model A” (Bob Wills and his Texas Playboys)
Turkey is the traditional bird this time of year, but perhaps you might want to try some Andrew Bird. This was recorded at one of the Chris and Heather Country Calendar shows. For those readers not from Chicago, every year cartoonist and filmmaker Heather McAdams draws a calendar that celebrates country music and musicians. And every year Heather and her musician husband Chris Ligon get their musician friends do a show to promote the calendar. Everybody plays a song or two from the artists featured in the calendar. This year’s show will be Dec. 12 at FitzGerald’s.

Just Luis “American Pie” (Don McLean)
My mom’s pumpkin pie is way more American to me than any apple pie could ever hope to be.

Slim Whitman “Indian Love Call” (Nelson Eddy)
How better to honor the Native Americans who shared their bounty with the Pilgrims than by listening to their traditional music? I love how they used this recording in Mars Attacks! to make the aliens’ heads explode. Thanks to Mrs. Freak for the suggestion.

A few months ago the delightful Mrs. Freak won a vacation from a radio station. Last weekend we cashed it in. It was a nice deal, four days and three nights in Orlando. Free airfare, tickets to both Universal Studios theme parks for the duration and a free room in a four-star resort hotel. Since the trip was for four people we rounded up our daughter and our nephew and headed south. Here’s my report.

Hellsongs “We’re Not Gonna Take It” (Twisted Sister)
We stayed at the Hard Rock Hotel. It had way too much Twisted Sister memorabilia. It was everywhere you looked. In the hotel restaurant the walls were adorned with Twisted Sister platinum albums and pictures of Dee Snyder cooking. By the pay phones there were pictures of Dee Snyder using the telephone. There was a display case filled with Twisted Sister crap next to the elevator. If you didn’t know better you’d think that Twisted Sister is up there in the rock and roll pantheon next to the Stones and the Beatles. I figure that either Mr. Snyder or his publicist gave the hotel large sums of money.

Pearl Jam “Crazy Mary” (Victoria Williams)
The hotel was a vast and sprawling place. To get from the elevator to our room we needed to take a right at the display case with Eddie Vedder’s jacket in it and another right at the picture of Bob Marley’s face. The case with the jacket had a caption painted on the glass. It mentioned that Pearl Jam was famous for their refusal to work with Ticketmaster. The display case didn’t go on to mention how doomstruck Pearl Jam’s little protest was. They effectively prevented themselves from playing in the U.S. for three years and got no cooperation from any other band. Now they’ve learned their lesson and play nice with the ticket brokers and sell their new CD at Target. Ah well, at least they tried.

Less Than Jake “I Think I Love You” (The Partridge Family)
Not all of the rock-n-roll crap stacked up in every corner of the Hard Rock Hotel was authentic. The most curious example of this was a replica of one of the seats from the Partridge Family bus. The plaque on the wall proudly mentioned that Danny Bonaduce had once visited the hotel and that the seat “commemorated” his visit. A visit from Danny Bonaduce is something that I would rather forget or at least ignore, but that’s just me.

Xavier Rudd “No Woman No Cry” (Bob Marley)
Bob Marley wasn’t just a navigational aid, he also figured into a more disturbing aspect of my vacation. We were able to walk from the hotel to the amusement parks and to something called the City Walk. It was a collection of stores, blaring music, neon signs, restaurants and bars. One of the bars was called Bob Marley, A Celebration Of Freedom. Outside was a bronze statue of the man, inside were tourists quaffing overpriced rum drinks. Bob Marley has been reduced to a brand, presumably with the blessing of his estate. I know that Rita and the kids have to eat, but I found the whole concept depressing.

Offspring “You’re A Mean One, Mister Grinch” (Thurl Ravenscroft)
Universal runs two theme parks side by side in Orlando. The movie-themed Universal Studios park was geared toward older kids, there weren’t too many rides that a family with a seven-year-old and an eleven-year-old could enjoy together. The Islands Of Adventure park was a much better place for my family, particularly the Dr. Seuss part of the park. They had a kick-ass carousel and nice rides based on The Cat In The Hat and One Fish, Two Fish. Some guy in a Grinch costume was wandering around posing for photos even though there were no Grinch-themed rides.